From Housemates to Friends

Pete is in his early 40s and has an ILA which helps him maintain his independence.  He has a team of “mentors” (support workers) who support Pete for a number of hours each day with things like work, grocery shopping and making appointments. He is also supported by a financial administrator who helps him manage his money. As part of his ILA, Peter also has a housemate, Simon, who provides companionship, guidance and a positive example. 

Pete and Simon have been living together for nearly a decade, since Simon was a university student. 

“I’d been living with another guy for three years, when the My Place coordinator got in touch and said this guy Peter was looking for a housemate and thought I’d be a good fit. The rest is history.”

Pete and Simon are housemates living in a villa (townhouse) in Osborne Park, Perth. It’s a private rental they chose together, after starting their journey in social housing. As part of Pete’s ILA, Simon’s rent is paid by My Place. 

In return, Simon provides the companionship and positive example that Pete needs to stay on track. Since living with Simon, Pete has proudly started both a car-washing and gardening business, become better with his money, cut back on his Xbox gaming and developed a more consistent personal routine.  

“Overall, I think Pete sees me as an older brother. He just kind of feels more like he’s accountable to me. Like he cares what I think.” 

Each day, Pete and Simon do their own thing but come together over shared passions – such as The Walking Dead, basketball and AFL. 

“Pete’s a big Geelong Cats fan and I go for Collingwood and we really lean into that. It gets us going during the week and always gives us something to look forward to. I play the song for my team the day before and he’ll fight back and put his song on even louder. We get hyped up.” 

The pair have struck up a genuine friendship over the years and would hang out even if they didn’t live together.

The respect is mutual. For Pete, Simon’s presence has improved Pete’s self-confidence and made him feel like he belongs. “We’re pretty well known in Osborne Park when we walk around. The coffee shop knows we’re housemates, and that makes Pete feel like he matters – like he’s not some stranger who doesn’t fit in.” 

Pete also plays a significant role for Simon, whose family have gradually drifted away from Perth. “He’s just a good person. A happy, positive person and I like living with a happy, positive person.” 

Pete grew up in the foster care system before moving into social housing on his own. Being able to come home to a housemate like Simon has brought valuable stability into his life. 

“I like coming home to a home where someone else is there instead of it being by myself,” Pete says. 

Pete and Simon continue to take it day by day but plan to live with each other for the foreseeable future or until “he gets sick of me one day,” Simon says. 

Having grown up around people with a disability, Simon approached living with Pete with an open mind and encourages other people to do the same. 

“Dip your toes in, meet a couple of times. You’ve just got to develop trust. Once you trust each other all the rest will figure itself out.”

Ben is 47. Ben lived in group homes for 28 years before his dream of living in an apartment with a housemate of his choosing, in a bustling, metropolitan area came true. 

Ben receives funding for an Individualised Living Arrangement through his NDIS plan and now lives in a Specialist Disability Accommodation apartment with his housemate Colleen. The apartment includes access to onsite support, providing 24/7 assistance if needed, as well as two hours of direct paid support in-home each day. Ben also receives paid support to undertake activities in his local community.

“While he was living in the group home, Ben was coming into the day services where my office was located,” says Court Walters, head of the Home and Living Team at Milparinka, a disability support organisation in Victoria. “We started talking informally and struck up a relationship. From that day on, Ben decided that it was my job to move him out.” 

Ben grew up in a loving foster family from the age of two. His foster mum was a strong advocate for him, and his foster sister Linda continues to support him today as his guardian and administrator. 

“Ben has never seen himself as anything but absolutely just Ben. With Mum’s advocacy and support, Ben went on to become the clever man he is today,” says Linda. 

Ben’s foster mum found him a place in a Northcote group home when he turned 18 to ensure he had security over his accommodation into the future – though he’d come back to the family home every weekend and for holidays. 

In the group home, Ben couldn’t choose what he ate every day, let alone who he lived with. He even had to share a room at first.  

“He felt uncomfortable in the group home, and uncomfortable going to a day service with other people with disability. For the most part, he was just going from place to place that he didn’t want to be every day for 28 years,” Court says.  

After working closely with Ben over time, Milparinka found Ben his apartment – complete with his preference for a city view and a stove with knobs to turn. And after putting out an ad for a housemate, Ben met Colleen. 

“She’s injected this sort of vibrancy into Ben’s life that wasn’t there before,” Court says. 

Colleen now lives full time with Ben in his apartment in Brunswick. They each have a bedroom and bathroom, and share the kitchen, living room and balcony. They also split the bills and the household chores. The costs associated with Colleen’s accommodation are managed by Milparinka, and in return Colleen is Ben’s housemate, companion, and connecti

on to the community. 

Colleen understands the significance of the move for Ben.  

“Everything felt really clear and open – there was no doubt. I was going to be living with a really cool person who was having this great independent life, and I got to share that journey,” she says. 

Ben and Colleen have a natural rapport. While Colleen helps Ben with advice and prompting throughout the day, most of their time together involves cooking together, playing music and joking around. 

“It’s a housemate friendship where we both get to be ourselves, and it’s friendly and kind and safe. It’s never just like ships in the night,” says Colleen.   

Says Court, “Colleen really gets it. She understands what we’re doing and why and wants to share her life with Ben as a regular and genuine housemate in the community.”

Six months in, Ben loves waking up at 4.30 in the morning and going up to the building’s rooftop to watch the sun rise over Melbourne. He’s getting into the groove of relaxing and hanging out with Colleen in his own place. 

The impact on reducing his anxiety has been significant. “He’s learning for the first time in thirty years how to relax and be still in his place. He’s just relishing being in a place he loves with a person he adores,” Ben’s occupational therapist Dianne says. 

Ben is branching out, eating new things and socialising with Colleen. “Just being on the street in Brunswick together they’ll run into people each of them knows and share that community,” Court says 

Some days, it doesn’t sink in for Ben that his dream has come true. 

But then his sister Linda reminds him, “Ben, this is your house. You live here now, Ben – this is where you live.” 

Megan is 38 and has an intellectual disability. Her ILA journey began when her parents wanted to give her the opportunity for greater independence. Provided with ILO funding in her NDIS plan, Meghan now lives in a house in Melbourne’s inner north, with daily support and a great housemate, Isabel.

“Meghan’s mum and dad wanted to see what other options there were out there for someone like Meghan, who has always had a mind to be more independent and try to do things for herself,” says Court Walters, head of the Home and Living Team at Milparinka, a disability support organisation in Victoria.

After securing NDIS funding for ILO explore and design, Milparinka helped Meghan take her next step. Meghan got involved by sitting down and looking at rental listings. She now lives in a beautiful house in Brunswick West in Melbourne. 

“The house is cool. It’s got a garden and everything,” Meghan says. 

Meghan also has a housemate, Isabel, who she’s lived with for two years now. 

“Isabel is my housemate. She cooks dinner, then calls me and I’ll put the dishes away and wash up. Teamwork!” Meghan says. 

While Meghan receives around twenty-six hours of support per week (mainly focused around prompting household tasks), Isabel’s role focuses on guidance and companionship. Meghan and Isabel cook together, socialise together and plan out domestic and social tasks each week. 

Says Court, “She’s not a support worker that lives in the house – she’s a genuine housemate for Meghan.”

Isabel’s contributions are recognised through the arrangement, and her housing costs are in turn covered by Milparinka. Isabel regularly checks in with Meghan’s ILO facilitator to ensure the living arrangements always run smoothly. 

While she lives with Meghan most of the week, on Wednesdays Isabel has a break – an arrangement that was previously supported by paid staff. 

However, “Recently, Meghan has decided she doesn’t need that anymore, so she’s having nights to herself on Wednesdays which is going really well,” Court says.    

Since moving into her own place, Meghan’s life has blossomed. She works part time at an op shop, loves hunting for and customising fashion finds, swims, and catches up with her sister for regular dinners. 

Court observes, “Meghan’s making more decisions about her own life and what she wants to do.” 

Her support worker Millie says, “She lives an independent lifestyle, she can make her own choices and live her life the way she wants to live it.”